You know what really grinds my gears? Communist haters. Not the people who hate on communism because everyone is entitled to their own opinion (except in Soviet Russia), but the people who hate on me and ARE COMMUNISTS.
A recent example of this occured over this weekend, when I made the Machiavellian move of conspiring with a fellow fantasy footballer for a trade to benefit both of us. Normal people would see said trade and realize “It benefits both teams and furthers their goals, so it is valid.” Instead, these jealous bitches were all “we’re jealous of this trade and angry that these two owners are going to be succesful and happy. Because we have miserable fantasy teams and lives, we want others to feel our pain. Also we are bitches” This is textbook HATER. Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success. So fuck you softly, haters.
Haters are bad enough, and trust me I have many. However there are a few haters worse than the others. These are (in descending order of worsity): Playa-haters, Communist haters, and Gingers. For the purpose of this article I am focusing on the second worst group, Communist haters. (I could write a novel on playa-haters, belie’ ‘dat).
To grasp the magnamity of the communism, lets first consider the situation. My partner and I were on the free market of fantasy football. We decided to make a deal that would benefit both of us. I had what he wanted and he had what I wanted. We both were to profit. This is straight capitalism. However, you slimy fucks decided that capitalism was “unfair” and Tsar Glazer cancelled the trade. Well you can suck my American schlong because America is capitalist. Football is American and fantasy football represents capitalism.
If you were mad about me getting Adrian Peterson, you should’ve offered Ver a better deal, which would’ve been pretty hard as I had 2 Chiefs starters which for some odd reason he wanted. This is no different than buying a $35 dollar shirt at a concert. It makes very little rational sense to want something like it, but the demand is there so the transaction occurs. Machiavelli (and probably Makaveli) would approve. Except it didn’t happen due to the revenge of the communist haters.
In conclusion, fuck communists, fuck haters, fuck hating as a mindset, a lifestyle and as a motherfucking crew. And if you down with hating, fuck you too. Tsar Glazer, fuck you too. All you motherfuckers, fuck you too. All y’all motherfuckers, fuck you die slow motherfucker. Calvin Johnson gon make sure all your teams gon lose. You motherfuckers can’t see me or be me. We motherfuckin’ lion superteam. You twats can’t feel it. We the realest.
Fuck ’em. We Bad Boy Killaz