Counterpoint: Tim Tebow

Yes, it is evident that Tim Tebow has been winning quite a few games lately, but, while he seems to have the luck of the irish, he is not superhuman.

I have a great deal of evidence to prove my point but, for the sake of time and my sleep, I will keep it concise. Also, for the sake of organization, I will label the sections of my argument.

HOOK:THESIS:

Tim Tebow is NOT god and we should not will not be smited if we choose not to root for Denver.

SUPPORTING POINT 1:

SUPPORTING POINT 2:

If you find my supporting point 1 to be farfetched, screw you! But also ponder this, if god chose to be a living being on earth, he would have no fear, inhibitions or humbleness. As the supreme being, he would only have to answer to himself! Knowing this, it would be silly to think that someone so humble as Tim Tebow would be god. By pointing towards the sky and praying during games, he damns his candidacy for the hallowed position. Instead of wasting our god searching time observing Tim Tebow, we should lay our criteria for the the perfect god candidate. Following are my suggestions:
1. Calls himself god
2. Flaunts his unlimited riches
3. Is bisexual as to include all of his creations
4. Has a lot of SWAG (what god wouldn’t?)
5. Likes all types of food as to include all races
 
Adhering to the aforementioned regulations, I have no excuse but to declare Lil B to be god. We should’ve known it!!! 
If the, obviously religious, picture above does not prove Lil B’s god status, I don’t know what will. After all, he satisfies each of the criteria:
 
1. Calls himself god – Based god – check
2. Flaunts his unlimited riches – 5 Big-ASS chains!!! – check
3. Is bisexual as to include all of his creations – Album: I’m Gay – check
4. Has a lot of SWAG (what god wouldn’t?) – He, SWAG, certainly does, SWAG, have a lot, SWAG, of swag, SWAG SWAG – check, SWAG
5. Likes all types of food as to include all races – He done eat that wonton soup – check

SUPPORTING POINT 3

Of all people, how can the machine tell us who god is?!?! As a non observant, the machine is obviously not in touch with Lil B. I urge you, Machine, watch the Wonton Soup music video. You will know that you have been graced by a god and it will change your life.
 

CONCLUSION:

THANKS PATRICK!!!
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s