My apologies go out to Tommy and Glazer, but my strategy has been decided and haven’t even arrived at College. If at anytime I have the room to myself, no need to worry about a roommate walking in. If there is a little piece of tape over the key slot, that is me saying, “Beatin’ my meat, knock or come back later.”
Also another effective strategy is constructing your beds as bunk beds. This way, unless you make extra effort you will not be able to see your roommate stroking. A high powered fan will take away any noises you may make. Specifically at your vinegar stroke.
Quick thought, why have they not created a comfortable device for a back rest while pooping. That would be splendid.