As the weekend approaches, another week of fantasy football is set to begin. League Made for the Streets is going strong and has not let the dysfunctional replacement refs become an excuse for poor results, unlike real NFL players (pussies). These projections are bold. Projected scores are italicized. Week 4 can set the tone for the rest of the season, unless the first two weeks of a team’s season were fucked over by a shitty and non-attentive commissioner.
Trillwaukee Killaz 104 vs. Team 133 91
The Roger Goodell of league MFTS, commissioner Gayve’s team continues it’s soft early schedule with a matchup against Michael Vick and a Killaz team that has been struggling recently. Commissioner Gayzer has not been without controversy, as scheduling conflicts have arisen on top of suspicious scoring and home field advantage policies. No matter, as karma will once again keep this shady as fuck commish and his super shitty team will fall to a far superior(yet still pretty average) Trillwaukee team. 111-73 Trillwaukee Killaz
Arian Foster Care 118 vs. Calvin Knows 118
This matchup promises to intrigue as the score is projected to be the same! Like they’re the exact same fucking number! Holy shit. But seriously, we all know that projections are absolute bullshit and rarely correct. Both of these teams are coming off wins, however, and this should be an exciting matchup. While Arian Foster Care will put up a valiant fight, Calvin Johnson is too fucking huge to be stopped. 132-124 Calvin Knows
But I’m Not A Rapper 138 vs. Olympic Champion 143
This should be an incredibly high scoring matchup, as both teams are in fine form. Will this be the week that the auto pick queer finally loses? I certainly hope so. I expect Aaron Rodgers to get his shit together and stop being a pussy, which will lead to a win for the Olympic Champions. 128-118 Olympic Champions
Team 420 LA Edition 83 vs. Mr. Winky Pokin’ Stinky 121
In another matchup of average at best teams, Mr. Winky Pokin’ Stinky(what the fuck stupid name is that) should easily prevail. 110-75 Mr. Winky Pokin’ Stinky
La Verga de Destructión 115 vs. Team MFTS 110
In another matchup of two teams that have been experiencing a large amount of success recently, I expect Chachi’s dick of destruction to Mushroom stamp Marshall and his team in the face in tune to an easy win, as Matty Ryan and Adam Jarvis Green will propel the team to victory. 113-109 La Verga de Destructión
Poop On You 101 vs. Team MFTS(Fino) 132
Poop On You has been having a difficult beginning to the season to this point, but Team MFTS is coming off a loss and a horrible week overall. Jamall Charles and Tashard Choice will be the 3rd and 4th highest scoring running backs, respectively, and will propel team Poop on you to it’s first win. 138-114 Poop On You
Jordana on My Banana 85 vs.Chelsea Football Club 106
While team Jordana on My Banana has one of the most creative team names in the league it’s players do not have enough heart/desire/talent to prevail over newly renamed Chelsea Football Club. I predict Chelsea football club to easily beat Arsenal on Saturday, 3-1, and to demolish Jordana on My Banana on Sunday behind huge weeks for Christian Ponder, Trent Richardson, Cedric Benson, Dez Bryant, Jon Baldwin, Rob Gronkowski, Jimmy Graham, the Defense of the New York Giants, and Matt Bryant. 149-93 Chelsea Football Club
Good Luck to all, not really.