In case you haven’t realized, the fantasy playoffs are only a week away! This means that this coming weekend marks the end of the regular season and the final opportunity for change in the projected playoff brackets.
To begin this post, I would like to entertain the beloved readers of Tainted with one of my favorite sports related quotes of all time… enjoy.
Now, on to the playoff scenarios.
As of today, the following teams are safely into the playoffs. While seeding can change, the following are the teams who are sure to be participating in the playoffs and are surly safe from the horors of the ACT.
1. Chelsea Football Club – Ver
2. Calvin Knows – I wonder who owns this team
3. La Verga de Destrucción – Chachi
4. Big Fin – Big Fin
5. Arian Foster Care – Papa
With five spots currently taken, that leaves three additional playoff births to be had. Currently it is only mathematically possible for four teams to occupy these spots. While it is easier for some of these teams to make it into the playoffs, all four have reasonable shots. The specific scenarios are below.
6. Poop On You – Playoffs if: WIN over We Are Not Worthy OR loss and loss by either But I’m Not a Rapper or Olympic Champion OR loss and win by But I’m Not a Rapper and Olympic Champion and scores within 135 points of Olympic Champion. By all intensive purposes, Poop On You is in regardless.
7. We Are Not Worthy – Playoffs if: WIN over Poop On You OR loss and loss by either But I’m Not a Rapper or Olympic Champion OR loss and win by But I’m Not a Rapper and Olympic Champion and scores within 35.3 points of Olympic Champion. Win and In.
8. But I’m Not a Rapper – Playoffs if: WIN and loss by Olympic Champion OR WIN and win by Olympic Champion and scores within 145 points of Olympic Champion OR loss and loss by Olympic Champion and score within 145 points of Olympic Champion. Basically win and in.
9. Olympic Champion – Playoffs if: WIN and loss by But I’m Not a Rapper OR WIN and loss by We Are Not Worthy and outscore We Are Not Worthy by more than 35.3 points OR technically loss and loss by But I’m Not a Rapper and outscores But I’m Not a Rapper by 145 points. Needs win and help.
Although it is technically possible for Trillwaukee Killaz and Schaub on my Knob to make the playoffs, they would need to win, both Olympic Champion and But I’m Not a Rapper to lose and to outscore But I’m Not a Rapper by 154 points (Trillwauke) and 172 points (Schaub).
For those of you not on the aforementioned list, you better step you game up to avoid the ACT. Personally I have my money on Mr. Winky Pokin’ Stinky but that is just me.
May the odds forever be in my favor.